I haven’t been out of the house since the 17th of March other than for groceries and it has and has not changed my life. It hasn’t changed much since I’m normally always at home with Alva, being a stay at home mom or something like that (actually more trying to find out what to do when I grow up), so my ordinary days are at home anyways. But it has changed in the way that I actually now, for real, understand that I don’t need all the other stuff. I don’t need to buy the things I thought I needed, I don’t need to go to places I thought I needed and I surely don’t need to always thrive at being somewhere else than right here and right now.
Ô you old clichés – carpe diem & que sera, sera… you finally make sense for real.
It also makes me realise my complet satisfaction to use my hands. I have never baked, cooked or cleaned as much as now. Or raked, worked the soil and sown. I actually find myself at peace when doing one thing and really do it profoundly. To sweep the floor and appreciate how clean it gets. To make a brocoli pie with Alva like it’s a birthday cake. Or make and embroider a table napkin out of an old piece of cloth and feel completely satisfied to make something useful… I think I’m changing deep within.
I talked to my dad on the phone the other day and he reminded me on when we once looked at peaceful kitchen together and how it changed his way to cook. How he now cut an onion and really enjoy the whole process, peeling it, cutting it in two and then chopping it into tiny pieces. And be present in it. That is how I now find myself to be present in the little things. Just being there, now.